Saturday, October 25, 2008

The Decline and Fall of Spelling and Bag Boys

I suppose we should have seen the horsemen of the cultural apocalypse coming. Leg warmers, Bubble Tea, Paris Hilton - these were all signs of the end of days for common sense in America.

Take for example, bagging groceries. When my sister worked in a grocery store - Weingarten's, to be exact - there was an actual method that was taught. Distribute cans evenly across the bags, and - listen up children - THE BREAD GOES ON THE TOP OF THE BAG, NOT UNDERNEATH EVERYTHING ELSE.

You know how I feel about the grocery store behavior already - see this post if you missed it. But I never ceased to be amazed, as I was yesterday, at a young boy (usually boys do this) who takes a look at me - every 5'3" and clearly weak inch of me, more than likely in heels - and begins the customer experience by putting 4 HUGE BOTTLES OF CRUSHED TOMATOES INTO ONE PLASTIC BAG. THEN SORTING THROUGH THE REST OF MY GROCERIES FOR ANY MORE HEAVY STUFF TO ADD ON TOP. HEY EINSTEIN - DON'T FORGET TO PUT MY BREAD UNDER THERE.

Yesterday I had nothing to give this particular little half wit. I stared at him with all the emptiness of a Dementor. Meanwhile, the lady behind me inched up until I began to know her in the Biblical sense.

I said - "Would you mind spreading out those jars so that the bags are a little lighter?" (Stifling my other unclean thoughts and contemplating just getting a shirt that says that) He stared back. His look expressed so much. Like "WTH?" "Heavy? Like, I've never like carried a grocery bag anywhere so I don't like really know what that is, but DANG - like moving those jars - it like seems like a lot of work, dude." So I did it for him, resisting the urge to demonstrate that I did have SOME upper body strength by dragging him across the conveyor belt and using him as a human shield against the woman behind me who was busy crawling inside my shirt to begin writing her check.

And finally, I get home, make a few more paint chip notebooks and while working on the owl one (look closely) discover that our country no longer cares about the spelling of the word "Caesar". All hope is lost, my people - start saving ziplocs and growing beets - the end is near!

Off to regionals - pics l8r.

I will leave you with a kitty pic. This is Splotchy, on his (her) back in my left arm while I cook dinner. See his (her) paws all the way left, and crossed? Little nutball.

Have a great Saturday.

5 comments:

  1. You never stop making me laugh! I too have experienced the wrath of the idiot grocery bagger! You would think they would run "Spell Check" before they printed millions of paint chips... :) Have a great weekend!

    ~M

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  2. Just had to let you know how much I enjoy your posts! I look forward to it each day to arrive in my inbox, and I am never dissapointed! I am always smiling or laughing out loud while reading, and today was no exception. And your work is fantastic! Well, I'm off to read your other post about grocery store behavior. Have a great weekend!

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  3. Hhhmmm, I have to say, the more I read your blog, the more I wonder if we are some kind of karmic twins!... Although you're a morning person and I am NOT! The grocery store posts just cracked me up because I am so there with you!!! In France people bag their own groceries and I like it just fine this way, I still try to do it here sometimes, even with the bagger giving me the mean eye!! Also it irks me big time when all the frozen food is scattered among numerous bags or the cold stuff ends up with toilet paper and such... I'm slightly neurotic about grocery shopping, LOL! And don't get me started with the people coming too close... ;-)

    I love your little notebooks, too cute. :-)

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  4. Nearly 80% of the time I rebag my groceries once I get to my car. Sometimes I will rebag in front of the bagger, depending on my mood. I hate meat to be in the same bag as vegetables. And all cleaning products need their own space. The biggest problem is that now I bring my own bags and they feel like they need to fill them as full as possible...mixing meats with vegetables and cleaning products with edibles....and I cringe every time.

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  5. DH and I grocery shop together. He was a bagger in high school. The bag boys at our local Kroger know to just leave when we get in line. DH won't let the bag because they don't do it right. Fortunately, we shop on Friday night (how's that for date night?)so it's not busy and no one threatens to choke DH, who now is an sloooooooow bagger. But at least I don't have to listen to him whine and huff the whole way home about how the bag boys need bagger training like he had back in the day. I totally get that cold goes with cold, meat in plastic separate from veggies...but he is really neurotic about it!

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