I suppose we should have seen the horsemen of the cultural apocalypse coming. Leg warmers, Bubble Tea, Paris Hilton - these were all signs of the end of days for common sense in America.
Take for example, bagging groceries. When my sister worked in a grocery store - Weingarten's, to be exact - there was an actual method that was taught. Distribute cans evenly across the bags, and - listen up children - THE BREAD GOES ON THE TOP OF THE BAG, NOT UNDERNEATH EVERYTHING ELSE.
You know how I feel about the grocery store behavior already - see this post if you missed it. But I never ceased to be amazed, as I was yesterday, at a young boy (usually boys do this) who takes a look at me - every 5'3" and clearly weak inch of me, more than likely in heels - and begins the customer experience by putting 4 HUGE BOTTLES OF CRUSHED TOMATOES INTO ONE PLASTIC BAG. THEN SORTING THROUGH THE REST OF MY GROCERIES FOR ANY MORE HEAVY STUFF TO ADD ON TOP. HEY EINSTEIN - DON'T FORGET TO PUT MY BREAD UNDER THERE.
Yesterday I had nothing to give this particular little half wit. I stared at him with all the emptiness of a Dementor. Meanwhile, the lady behind me inched up until I began to know her in the Biblical sense.
I said - "Would you mind spreading out those jars so that the bags are a little lighter?" (Stifling my other unclean thoughts and contemplating just getting a shirt that says that) He stared back. His look expressed so much. Like "WTH?" "Heavy? Like, I've never like carried a grocery bag anywhere so I don't like really know what that is, but DANG - like moving those jars - it like seems like a lot of work, dude." So I did it for him, resisting the urge to demonstrate that I did have SOME upper body strength by dragging him across the conveyor belt and using him as a human shield against the woman behind me who was busy crawling inside my shirt to begin writing her check.
And finally, I get home, make a few more paint chip notebooks and while working on the owl one (look closely) discover that our country no longer cares about the spelling of the word "Caesar". All hope is lost, my people - start saving ziplocs and growing beets - the end is near!
Off to regionals - pics l8r.
I will leave you with a kitty pic. This is Splotchy, on his (her) back in my left arm while I cook dinner. See his (her) paws all the way left, and crossed? Little nutball.
Have a great Saturday.