Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Rat Fairy and Realtor Litter

I know - the title is a lot to take in. But it's really a few things that need to be said to you, my beloved readers. But first, a card...

And sorry for the silence. Busy few days!! But here's an idea that's been in my head for a week or so. It's my beloved Sizzix bird, on Basic Black with white gel pen dots. I tried to make him look like the Always bird. Then I mounted him on *sigh* the kraft prints paper from the hostess set - I LOVE the kraft DSP - and then onto black, and finally onto a kraft card base.

The black dots are made with my glaze pen. Not all the colors of these are as opaque as the black. Not sure how I feel about that yet. But I love the black.

So I hope you enjoy it. I've been playing with my new camera so be patient with my pics. As you know I do not read directions...

Speaking of patient, are you ready for the title fight??


You're familiar with the tooth fairy, right? It's like organ donation for kids. It always kind of grossed me out, to be frank. Rip out a body part, stick it in your BED (ick!!) and some random lady comes and takes it and gives you money. What the heck???? This was nothing like Santa and the Easter bunny for me. In my twisted little mind (too much Edward Gorey I guess) I was wondering where this gross tooth warehouse was that this broad was flying off to every night after playing body part snatcher all over the world.

Anyway, apparently there is a rat fairy also, in keeping with the creepy fairy tradition. Now before I get started and everyone thinks Texas is like London in a Jack the Ripper flick, all dirty and teeming with rodents, we have these rats called roof rats. They zip around on tree branches and jasmine vines (they LOVE jasmine) and start hurtling across our roofs every night looking for a way into our attics in the winter. Or if you have a deck, they love to live under the deck and come out to eat dog food or whatever people leave out. We have every sort of varmint you can imagine in the Lone Star State. And it's not because we're dirty. And I dont kill things, but sometimes people have to.

Well anyway, my sister has the perfect rat storm. Her yard is surrounded by large trees that touch all the roofs in the neighborhood, and she has a deck. Roof rat heaven. Except for the traps under the deck. That's kind of an "oh (*#$&" moment for the rats. Yesterday, after one of those moments, my sister had to remove the departed rat from the trap, and she bagged it up and threw it over the fence to keep the dog from getting it. Then I guess she forgot about it. Easy to do with two 150 pound great Pyrenees barreling around.. So she woke up this morning early, and remembered. So she went to go put the rat in the trashcan, and was VERRRRY surprised to find that the rat was gone.

And in its place? A QUARTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not making this up!!!

Ponder THAT for a minute or two tonight my readers!!! Guess our coyotes are carrying tip money around now. Texas is such a polite state!

Now. On to some larger varmints - realtors.

Anyone who has ever sold their home knows about staging. It's that magical process of clearing out clutter in your home so that it will look spacious, organized and inviting. Some realtors are really good at the staging process. Ours was. A miracle worker, he is. And I love him and his wife.

But riddle me this. Once a realtor has made your home all OCD perfect and buyers are fighting their own mothers to put in a winning bid on your minimalist well staged home, and the new family moves in - WHY IS IT OKAY FOR THE REALTORS TO THEN THROW TRASH ON THE PORCH??

Seriously. Every day, I come home to realtor garbage piled up on my porch. Flyers, postcards, business cards - it looks like a ticker tape parade except without the parade, and plus a bunch of really bad photos of men and women who look like they've been to a Glamour Shot session where the best clothes were cheap suits from an 80s soap opera.

It makes me nuts. I don't think that anyone should be able to leave their garbage on my porch. Politicians, landscapers - anyone. I shouldn't have to throw out their garbage for them. I'm contemplating how best to make this point.

Perhaps a "put your hands together" moment with the rats and the realtors. Your suggestions are appreciated! :)

Finally tonight - I'm playing with my new ultra cool camera last night - the shutter speed is incredible - and I caught the kitties, well, in some strange moments.

I know u have been missing them!!

Hope your week is off to a good start!!

7 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh you crack me up! I've been checking out your blog daily since I found it a week ago and I love it! Your kitties are too funny. I have a memory card full of goofy kitty pictures on my phone as I am a crazy cat lady. I can only imagine you sister's face when she saw a quarter in the place of the dead roof rat-I laughed out loud, i'm still giggling. thanks for the laugh-you rock!
    -Elizabeth

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  2. Oh my Lordy, what great shots of the kitties, especially Splotchy. I am laughing so hard my tummy hurts. I have come to the conclusion that yes, I am addicted to your hilarious photos of Maddie and Splotchy. Thanks for working them in tonight. Still laughing.............

    Lisa A.

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  3. Hi Friend!
    Your tooth fairy story is toooo funny!
    Regarding your porch, my neighbor keeps a bag on his porch hanging from his mailbox and everyone throws their flyers in that bag. It's not to pretty but it works for him!! :0)
    Have a great day!!!

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  4. The rat fairy!!! Who knew? Too funny.... :) I think I see a Lydia LOL Cat website in the near future....great pics. Did you get Splotchy loaded on catnip? And yes, I have seen the "Realtor Litter" in our subdivision as well....bothers the heck out of me. Have a great day...

    ~M

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  5. Way too funny about the tooth fairy and rat! The the punk ear photo of the fur baby is to cute too!

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  6. Thanks for the laugh! I just love those kittens of yours! Too cute...especially the funny ear picture!

    Here's a suggestion on how to rid yourself of the realtor litter...take some of those rats your sister "finds" and put them on the realtors business steps. That may stop them...but probably not! And then your sister won't get her rat fairy money...but it was worth a try!

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  7. I'm still laughing too! Firstly, I have to totally agree with the tooth fairy thing...I always thought that was really gross...my dad told me that the tooth fairy lived in a house made out of teeth and I just about vomited at the idea....but the rat fairy is hilarious...who would do such a thing?
    The realtors here are just as bad, though they are considerate enough to leave their trash in the mailbox, so it's easy to pop it in the bin on the way back to the house :)
    As for the kittehs....too cute...and very flexible...LOL. You should upload those pics to LOLcats!!!

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