Grammy grew up in a time where phones had DIALS. For those of you reading this on your Iphone, this is what I'm talking about. This is the origin of the mysterious phrase "Dial the phone." (oooh, ahhh - I see the faces lighting up at this revelation. You're welcome.)
This is a picture of the phone Grammy grew up with. She had to put her little fingers in those holes, and spin the dial, like on Wheel of Fortune, then wait, while the little ball bearing laden thingy slowly spun the dial back to the starting position so that you could dial the next number. YES I AM SERIOUS. This is where the phrase "speed dial" comes from. Anything under 45 seconds per number (God help you people with zeros in your number - you probably lost a lot of friends) would have been considered LIGHTNING SPEED.
Now there was one feature of these phones that Grammy would like to call to your attention.
THEY #)($*^)#*&^(ING WORKED!!!
When you did finish dialing the number, and you heard that purring sound that ringing used to make and your buddy answered, YOU COULD HEAR WHAT THEY WERE SAYING! It wasn't like the Aaron Neville style experience we have now, where maybe you get every third syllable, but because of the stupid satellite delay, by the time you HEAR Aaron Neville, you're already talking at the same time. Then you both say "What?" in sync four times, and then "No, you go ahead" in sync 4 times, at which point you would rather be in front of the person just so that you would have something to punch.
My dad is right - phone service is deteriorating at exactly the same rate that phone technology is proliferating. Exponentiallly.
Now - here's the kicker. You know that Grammy has a hate hate relationship with the faceless phone monopoly, right? Well do you want to know what they did? In Grammy's day, that gorgeous black hunk of ball bearing laced wires that was heavy enough to kill a feral hog with that was plugged into our wall in our house BELONGED TO THE FACELESS MONOPOLY.
That's right. All equipment belonged to "the company." And when "the company" split up, on a tearful day many decades ago, "the men" came to our homes and they took those hog killers.
That's right. I am not making this up. They took our phones. That's when all this started. I'm pretty sure that's what Don McLean wrote American Pie about. The day the music died was the day they took our phones.
And if I had had the foresight to know I would never ever have anything that good again. I would have hidden that thing with all the passion and resourcefulness of Winston and Julia in 1984, believe me. My mom would have been screaming - "RUN, CHILD, RUN - DON'T STOP - WE'LL FIND YOU - JUST DON'T LOSE THE PHONE." I would have eaten tree bark for months. If only I'd known.
I don't think I'm alone in pining for those days of crystal clear sound, heavy handsets, black ball bearing-y goodness. Why do I think that?
Look closely little ones.That's no Iphone, ladies. That is a REAL PHONE. It's in the stamp set Classy & Fabulous. From the new catalog.
And I'd let you see the rest of the card, except - it's for my club. Have you joined? You can do so in my sidebar. But back to the subject at hand.
This is a signal. We are lighting the torches. We are kicking it off. We are getting our PHONES back!!!
Viva La Revolucion!!!!
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