Thursday, February 26, 2009

Please Call for Help!!!

I'm trapped. I'm in my bedroom with my cats and my laptop and he's out in the living room. I'm so scared right now. He knows that we are in here.

Here's what happened. I came home with groceries. I start putting them away and I hear Maddie making this awful sound. I run over to her and she's making this really weird sound and looking up at the wall. I look up and that's when I see it. #(*$^&(@*#&@!!!!

I grab my cats and put them in the bedroom. Good Maddie - she's a bug early warning system. I love that in a cat. If I ever hear her make that sound again we're running out the door and I'm tossing a Molotov cocktail in behind me.

I debate. It's too high for me to hit with anything. LIKE I WOULD DO THAT!!! ARE YOU INSANE?? HAVE YOU EVER BEEN STUNG BY A WASP??? That just REALLY makes them mad and stingy.

It's looking at me. It makes these horrible sounds with its wings. I call the DH. He laughs at me. I file for divorce.

So, I do the only thing I can do. Run like a Marine through a battlefield, head down, soundlessly, grab my laptop and run into the bedroom.

OMG I HAVE TO STUFF SOMETHING UNDER THE DOOR!!!! BRB!!!

For this reason I cannot upload card photos right now because they are on my big computer. If I survive this, I'll post them this weekend.

In the meantime - here are some fun, non hideous scratchy stinging beast related things

First of all, yesterday I was featured on Tip Junkie's Teach me Thursday! Yippee. If you haven't seen this site, you need to. I love these women who do all the hard work of combing the internet for us and bring great things together in one place. Card of the Week, Paper Friendly One Pretty Thing - this people are my heroines!

Second, I uploaded a Pig Latin lesson to Mindbites!! Do you want to learn the best language ever in 5 minutes?? I am an accomplished Pig Latin Expert and frequently appear at Pig Latin trials as an interpreter and an expert. I'm on the Pig Latin lecture circuit, and do Pig Latin manuscript work for the Ivy Leagues. So check it out!





I'll be trapped in here for a few hours waiting for the DH to come kill that thing so at least I can catch up on my email. The cats are doing laps around me like little greyhounds. It's going to be a long afternoon. Pray for me.

Have you signed up for the UBlue Cyber Club? Attended one of my Webinars?? Come on - get your geek on! :)

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10 comments:

  1. OMG - I feel your pain! I was once trapped in my house by a big swarm of wasps, not to mention in my room by the biggest wasp ever! I didn't know that when one wasp stings you (on the toe reallllly hurts) it makes all the other wasps really excited and wanting to sting even more! It was BAD I tell you! I am sending my best wishes that you survive that nasty thing! Good luck! I will keep looking for blog posts to know you made it out ok
    Jeanna
    www.stamptimesomewhere.com

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  2. GIRL! I feel for you!!!! I HATE THINGS THAT ARE BUG LIKE! Be safe my friend!

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  3. She was "chirping" at it!! That's what we call it. They kind of meow, and their chin quivers up and down really fast, so it makes a funny sound. They do it at birds and squirrels too. Seems kind of a dumb way to stalk to me, but all of my kitties have always done it. If I described it well, I'd bet you that that's what she's doing. It's funny :) If I was there I'd kill it for you. Bugs don't bother me so much. I don't like most of them, but they don't make me squeamish.

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  4. OK..take this advise VERY seriously...OK...are you listening???

    DO NOT..I repeat...DO NOT think about waterfalls....dripping taps....flowing streams....oceans crashing on the beach....baths of water....

    STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM!!!

    ahh..who am I foolin' you probably have an ensuite...sucks all the fun out of my life...LOL

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  5. Ugh. I have wasps. Every year as the weather starts to turn cold they come in to DIE. I have a very old fly swatter that is a mini-flip-flop on the end of a long plastic stick. It is so well-used that one year I had to duct-tape the flip-flop to the stick so it would stay on. It is ALWAYS out, and I just thwack the little buggers until they are dead. The cat sleeps through the whole thing. I hired her to take care of the crickets, but she only plays with them until they are disabled and leaves them for me to discard. She cannot be bothered with wasps.

    And NO WAY about the Pig Latin thing. Lecture Circuit? Manuscript work for the Ivy Leagues? Get outta town!!!

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  6. Aaahhhh, that's just plain SCARY!!! Back in November I had a whole family of wasps trying to build nests on either side of the door that goes outside from my room. Swathed in a large scarf I sprayed the heck out of them and when they flew away I bashed their nests down...they never came back. Yucky things...I'm not scared of bugs, but wasp stings hurt and give me hives, so they don't live long if I see 'em. Hope you're ok :)

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  7. My DH went to school with a fellow named Art Fay. I am not making this up.

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  8. OMG This post made me laugh SO hard. I'm so glad I found it, thank you.

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  9. oh my!
    i hope DH found the wasp and killed it.
    one time there was a BIG spider in our garage - HUGE like HUGE HUGE. I sprayed it with ant spray and it ran under a shelf. By the time hubby got off work and took apart the shelf and moved it - he was gone. i couldn't sleep for days wondering where that creepy thing ended up!

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  10. OMG - I thought I was the only one who grabbed my kids and ran as fast as I could to lock myself in the bedroom so an indoor wasp (or bee) couldn't get me! And you're right - they know you're there...waiting for you to open the door so they can attack. Yeah - I've waited hours for hubby to get home so I could come out...not fun.

    ( lol@ "art fay" )

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