During this ordeal, I noticed some things that my fellow Austinites need to be reprimanded for, which I will enumerate.
1) Honking when we've all been sitting in the same place for more than an hour. Hey dummy - stifle yourself. If you want to communicate, please get on Twitter. You are angering my brain cells to the point where I might launch my cell phone charger through your oddly open window. It's 103 degrees by the way, why is your window open? Wait - don't answer that - hold still. I can hit you in the eye from here.
2) Driving around your 8000 fellow citizens to go to the front of the line because you are somehow more special than us. Do you really think that you are the person who has solved the traffic jam by simply driving up to the roadblock? A tazer to some of your more sensitive areas would be entirely too humane. If it wasn't 103 degrees, I would definitely get out and apply some serious force.
3) Driving your car up my bunghole in an attempt to make this whole process go faster. First of all, I'm tired of knowing your bumper in the biblical sense. Second - did you not see the ATF just go around us? Is there something about SWAT teams that makes you feel like that extra three inches you just moved is going to get you home faster? You need a lobotomy. And a butt tazer.
There you go. Try to behave yourselves in a way that communicates to the world that you are actually a higher life form than a howler monkey.
K. Now that that's out of the way - how about a card? Or even two?
Don't yell or anything, but I bought this stamp at Joann's. DON'T YELL. I have no idea why I would buy a stamp when the catalog just came out but WHATEVER, IT'S PRETTY I LIKED IT.
After making a hideously ugly colored version that I threw away, I did these, which I kind of like. Just black ink, white pencil, white gel pen. Which color scheme do you like better?
Hope you have a fabby Tuesday.
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