Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Keep Your Pants On!

You'd think people would know to do that, but they really don't.

Or their shirts, for that matter.

I am always astonished at the number of people who go outside virtually nekkid to walk or run. It's pretty disturbing.

Here are my tips for my neighbors.

  • No matter how great you think you look, a nekkid sweaty neighbor with their sweaty bits violently bouncing around in plain view is pretty unappetizing at any time of day.
  • You don't look that great.
  • Do you realize you're actually outside your house right now? Because you are. Outside. In public. Nekkid. Sweaty. Bouncing.
  • A heart rate monitor is not a shirt in the classical sense. Plus, boys, it really makes you look like you're wearing a bra. Perhaps not the impression you were going for?
  • Likewise, ladies, a sports bra is not a shirt. I don't care how big a Madonna fan you are, put a shirt on. They design home treadmills for people who want to get their Madonna on. I suggest you buy one on Amazon. Soon. Don't even wait for a sale.
  • It's not that hot out. Actually, it's never that hot out. Anywhere. In the world. Ever. 
  • You look greasy. Should you be deranged enough to think that this is some sort of dating technique, I can assure you no man/woman/dog is ever going to want to touch you who has witnessed this spectacle. I promise you everyone is imagining how a person that sweaty must smell and then hurriedly crossing over to the other side of the street. Ask me how I know.
I expect all of you to have your clothes on when I walk tomorrow. Thank you.

We actually have a semi-famous walker in our neighborhood who chooses to walk in long pants and a golf shirt (despite the triple digit heat) but tucks his shirt up under his armpits so that his belly is exposed. It's quite something.

I pondered all this in a mental tangent after I saw Bridget Finlay's AWESOME Hope You Can Cling To challenge, which is to make a card with something you see when you look up.

You'll be relieved to know that I did not choose a sweaty neighbor as my subject! :) Instead, I used some REAL inspiration that we got on Saturday - RAIN!! And not just a little rain either. A steady downpour that added up to four or five desperately needed inches in a few spots.

I was in Salado for a shoebox swap this weekend and it was so fun. I got to hang out with Jeanne and Anna and Joan and Holly and all the fun girlies at the swap and Salado is such a fun town. Here's the little theater across from where we ate Saturday night - there was some sort of Patsy Cline show happening. This was right before the rain came in.

So I got all snug in my quaint room at the B&B to listen to the rain and colored this image for Bridget's challenge. So sweet. See the glittery raindrops?
 
Stamps: Lean on Me Ink: Memento Paper: Whisper White, Crumb Cake, Real Red Accessories: ShinHan Touch Twin Markers: R4, R14 R139, R131YR33, Y35, Y38, YR142, BR103, PB74, PB183, Corner Rounder, Embossing Folder, Dazzling Details (raindrops)

So are you playing along in these challenges yet? We have more than $7500 in prizes to give away!

Yes, I said $7500 in prizes!

What are you waiting for? Head over to the Hope You Can Cling To Challenge Forum and make a card!

6 comments:

  1. Hilarious post & part of the reason I exercise at home. S club tonight, my hostess was lamenting this woman at her gym who she tries to avoid because of how she dresses.

    The photo before the rain? Way cool composition and colors. Frame it! Love the card too. Note the time stamp on this comment--I'm on vacation!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hilarious post & part of the reason I exercise at home. S club tonight, my hostess was lamenting this woman at her gym who she tries to avoid because of how she dresses.

    The photo before the rain? Way cool composition and colors. Frame it! Love the card too. Note the time stamp on this comment--I'm on vacation!

    ReplyDelete
  3. The whole sports bra thing - I've been wondering when they've been re-defined as being appropriate apparel for public view! What on earth? And the men in the short, short, short shorts? Egads!!

    Susan, aka Soozie4Him on SCS
    moot96 AT aol DOT com

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know I'm a little late, but.....there's a guy (I think it's a guy...I HOPE it's a guy because if not-- YIKEYS!!!!) who runs through our neighborhood in the winter totally covered from head to toe. He wears skin tight running tights/pants, a black skin tight shirt with long sleeves, and a black ski mask, hat thingy. It's Texas, Dude! A ski mask? Really??

    Skin tight is not pretty but at least he makes us laugh!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Two words that should never be used together: sweaty + bits.
    Ewwwwwww

    Love your card and your photo. Patsy Cline show? Texas sounds like a fun place. I love to belt out some Patsy Cline...

    ReplyDelete
  6. wv: Omeniona - people who suffer under the delusion that they can predict the end of the world suffer from Omeniona.

    ReplyDelete

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