Sunday, August 5, 2012

You're Nekkid Already - You're Just a Different Color!

There's been a profusion of inappropriate nekkidness lately.

First, I went to Starbucks one morning and had my eyes assaulted by a 65-ish year old male cyclist who had his bike outfit on - and, I have to say, this already qualified him as nekkid pretty much - just a different color than his birthday suit, but otherwise pretty much nekkid. But that wasn't the issue.

The issue was that he had the dang thing completely unzipped in the front, practically clear down to his nether regions.

I was completely appalled. I can honestly tell you that it has NEVER, in the history of the WORLD, been hot enough anywhere on earth to justify this behavior. Never.

Also, I believe it was a health department violation. If not, it should be.

But THEN - then the Olympics started. And sand volleyball. Which, according to one player who actually kept a straight face while answering John McEnroe's question about why they were playing practically nekkid, said that the sport was SO advanced that it required the highly specialized "equipment" of a tiny string in everyone's butt and little else.

It's been the source of many hilarious observations in social media, and for that I am grateful.

But it has also led to an invention  by me.

As you know, I don't sew. It's a genetic disability. Well I can cross stitch and embroider - does that count as sewing? I can also stamp sewing images, as you can see here.
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Paper: Real Red Polka Dot DSP, Early Espresso, Whisper White
Ink: Early Espresso
Accessories: Real Red & Early Espresso markers, Large Scallop Edgelit, 2.5" circle punch


So here's my idea for a little sewing first aid for our volleyball players and our exhibitionist men at Starbucks. A cover up! Most women own a bathing suit cover up already because it's a generally accepted norm that you should only be in your bathing suit when you're actually in or quite near a significant body of water. The mall, for example, is not a place where you should appear in a bikini, regardless of whether or not you are an Olympian. So I have made the following modifications to inappropriate use of athletic outfits.


Or for my biking friend, he'd just have to adjust the position of the wrap.


Better, don't you think?

11 comments:

  1. YES! There is no need for that level of aerodynamics on the volleyball sand court. And a nekkid cyclist?! OMG, I would have shrieked and told him to ZIP IT UP!

    Signed,
    Miss Prissy

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  2. Better, yes. Much better.
    Love the card

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  3. You are a girl after my own heart. There are things that should be left to the imagination.
    Grandma Prissy,

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  4. You're one of the funniest people on the interwebs.

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  5. Snort! You are sooooo funny. Lovely idea with the cover-ups. I can give some leeway to the beach volleyballers, but the near-nekkid biker dude? That's enough to curdle your blood and your latte. On another note: hey, cute card! ;)

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  6. Thank you for making me laugh. I expect you'll be on the design team for the next Olympics... lest we revert back to the days of the Greek Olympics... which may be where we are heading.

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  7. Snort is right! Too funny! I WAS a bit surprised that your cover up designs were not BLUE...HMmm...might need to rethink that EVEN though I love the shocking pink,,,better than shocking bare.~Terry Y

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  8. Wouldn't it be fun to have a set of blinders handy that we could whip out to wear in these situations to let the culprit know in no uncertain terms that he is an eyesore? *cackle*

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  9. PS THANK YOU SO MUCH for creating this card. I've been coveting this stamp set from afar until now. Holding out is a hopeless exercise now. Lol. A lovely card....

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  10. Oh lydia...I'm so sharing this with my mother...she would agree whole heartedly. And she does sew...and perhaps she'd sew you some of these coveralls so you can bestow them to those in the fairly naked state...as you see fit! haha

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