Monday, August 3, 2015

It's a CORNspiracy

Someday, you will hear a Karen Silkwood style story about me, as a result of all of the times I've exposed huge conspiracies here on my blog.

I'm okay with that.

Sometimes you have to take a Silkwood shower for the team.

Yesterday, I stumbled across one of the many mysteries that confront me daily - the mystery of the white shoepeg corn.

To give you some background - white shoepeg corn is like the UNIcorn. If you're going to buy a non-fresh corn, this is the ONLY acceptable option. I would tell you that other corn pales in comparison, but I can't do that because white shoepeg corn is well, white.

I bought some because on the busiest day of my life, between class and stamping bingo night, on the first day of Dare to Get Dirty, I decided I should take five hours and make tortilla soup. The day someone recognizes me for my procrastination skills is long overdue.

Anyway, I did save some time having Instacart deliver said corn. But as I unpacked the order, the conspiracy nagged at me.

Why is it that white shoepeg corn comes in a tiny, 11 oz. can when gross yellow canned corn comes in the 15.137 oz. can or whatever they're calling a pound these days. (You know - like the 15 ounce PINT of Hagen Dazs they sell now? #newmath).

Is it because it's UNIcorn? The most amazing corn in the world? The SAFFRON of corn?

Perhaps.

But what I do notice about this corn is that there is no liquid to drain off. You can use it right out of the can.

So I need your help.

I need someone who is in possession of a sub-standard can of yellow corn in a "standard" size to weigh their drained corn for me. Sadly, you will then have to eat some terrible, non-shoepeg corn. But just do it. For me.

I really want to know if yellow corn eaters are paying for 4. 137 ounces of basically dishwater.

Please let me know if you conduct this experiment in the comments.

Now that I have my soup and don't have to worry about lunch for the week, I'm back to work tomorrow, carrying on with Dare to Get Dirty. I made a card for Dina's challenge that I just love with the upcoming Dove of Peace set. I love the splashy, modern look of this stamp - and it's BIG.

Pin It

 Isn't that fantastic? I love everything about it.

My friend Holly enabled me into the new autumnal colors of Brusho, and so what I did here was clear emboss the dove, and then spray it with water and drop Brusho onto it. Then I fussy cut it out, and used the Softly Falling embossing folder for the background. This is meant to be a holiday set, but I wanted it to be more all occasion, so I paired it with the sentiment from Timeless Love.

Now if you want some holiday awesomeness, be sure and sign up for my Sleigh Ride Christmas Stamp-a-Stack - this class is only available in August and comes with everything you need for ten stunning Christmas cards, including a stamp set and die bundle.

Stamp set and die - that sounds bad. Like someone is yelling at you - JUST STAMP SET AND DIE!!

Except stamp sets don't kill people.

Bad corn kills people.

Pints of ice cream that are only 15 ounces kill people.

Stamps make people happy.

#fact

Loveyameanitbye.


PS - retreat registration is open, and rooms are going fast. Register here.

23 comments:

  1. I'm still trying to lift my jaw off the table. I will not do the 'speriment of measuring canned corn liquid because I DO NOT BUY CANNED VEGETABLES! Off-season I'll buy frozen, but canned? Never! I am shocked - SHOCKED - that you do. I might have to shun you.

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    Replies
    1. haha! Well I do buy canned San Marzano tomatoes for my marinara and I do buy shoepeg corn in cans because it's not sold frozen or fresh here. But that's it I swear! :) Remember it's too hot to grow here for most of the year.

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  2. You've convinced me that I need this stamp - it's on my pre-order list. You've not changed my mind about corn.

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  3. Wow just wow! And truly the only corn worth eating is corn on the cob........right out of the garden.....eaten the day it is picked.......yum! Only happens during mid to late summer around here......such an event when the corn is ready!

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  4. Hahahahaaaaaaaaaa you BOUGHT em!!!!!!!!!!! And they look FABULOUS with this beautiful dove, girlie. I haven't tried my Brushos with clear embossed images yet, but that is next on my list after I'm done with DTGD. Oooooohhhhh so many things to try, so little time!

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  5. Oh my gosh! I am laughing so hard! Just stamp, set and die!!!
    Well, I think I have a nasty can of corn that someone gave us so when Steve comes home I will ask him for his handy dandy food scale and I will check that out. I have to take deep breaths every time I go to the grocery store and see yet another product go up in price while they have made the contents smaller. Breathe!

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  6. Oh gosh, I forgot to tell you that your card is fabulous! I can't wait to try my Brushos out on something like this!!!

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  7. Frozen corn here, canned is just NASTY! I like te white yellow combo kind! BEAUTIFUL card and as for the Brushos I say HUSHO!!!

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  8. That set was not even NEAR my preorder...but I am totally rethinking that mistake..this is stunning!!!

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  9. Lydia - your posts are the best ones out there! A pound of coffee beans is no longer a pound. Candy bars are tiny and outrageously priced - but your example of corn should propel you to the post of US Secretary of Finance. And of course, your card is stunning! Thanks again for giving me smiles.

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  10. I have no canned corn but I like how you mind works, just wish I knew what shoepeg corn is. My education is sadly lacking. What isn't lacking is my enthusiasm over this gorgeous card...so glad I invested in Brusho's. Now all I have to do is invest in that spectacular dove.

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    Replies
    1. Don't feel bad. I had to Google shoepeg corn. Had no idea!

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  11. I don't buy or eat corn, but am curious to see the results if someone actually weighs the amount of corn in their can. Great card!

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  12. How can this class include the stamp set that is not available until September?

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    1. It doesn't :) If you peek at the class page, you'll see the kits & stamp orders don't ship until September :)

      PS - your comment posted twice so I deleted one.

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  13. Lydia, you absolutely crack me up!!!! LOL has actual meaning when I'm reading your blog. :) I sadly have no canned corn to weigh; only frozen. But I will never look at another can of corn without thinking of you. ;) And by the way, I buy granola bars for my son all the time and decided to have one today. I was absolutely SHOCKED to see how extremely tiny these particular granola bars have become! They are half the size they were when I was a teenager and ate them all the time! It's no wonder my boy eats two or three at a time! You can't even call one of these a snack!

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  14. I think "half gallon" ice cream containers should be considered single serve they're so small - ack!! Someday some little mamma is going to have a screaming hissy fit in the ice cream dept when the cartons become cup size. Forget veggies - it's ice cream I worry about...giggle. ANYWAY .... love the card and would like to order everything to make this card but can't find your email address - I know it's buried on my craft desk but it'd take forever to find it.....do you still have my email from the last order???:

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  15. They corn people are going to come for you now that you're on to them! LOL

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  16. Don't hate me! I have never heard of shoepeg corn. O.O That being said, sorry.. I don't buy canned veggies, so I can't help you out. However, I do LOVE your card, and I thank you so much for such an entertaining blog, and for sharing your creations. Now, about that soup.. so um.. You feel like posting a recipe? ^_^

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  17. Shoot, Lydia. I didn't even like that dove. Now I think I gotta have it! Beautiful card.

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  18. I came here from Brian's blog to see this beautiful dove. WOW! Not only do my eyes fill up with its beauty, I am cracking up about your corn story. You are a hoot! But...what are Brusho's? Sounds like I need to investigate another new toy?

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  19. It doesn't quite bother me as much as it used to that these companies think we are so stupid that they must lower the quantity instead of raising the price. I know that prices may have to rise for them to stay in business, etc., and some people WILL forsake a brand if they raise the price. But, what really chaps my behind is when a classic recipe is involved. A tuna noodle casserole made with two 5.5 oz. cans of tuna is going to be sadly lacking compared to one made with two cans of the old 6 oz. size. Do they expect me to buy three cans? It's maddening. Love the card, by the way.

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  20. This is such a beautiful card!! You fussy cut that dove, which elevates the WOW factor. I believe Mr. Dave has a die for this dove ;o)

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